I am scheduled for jury duty at the end of October. Speaking with a friend yesterday, I had a memory of the last time I did jury duty — August 1984 in Los Angeles. My memory showed a me from over thirty years ago. Most of my memories show in observer view (i.e., I can see myself and my body in the view), and the me there surprised me with her callow youth.
The emotions that rose up were more than I expected. I noticed behaviors I would no longer do — I think the additional age has something to do with it, but more likely my persistence with awareness practice. I noticed — I am really different now. I was surprised. It caught me unaware and caused a physical reaction.
It was like seeing a niece or nephew change dramatically when you haven’t seen them from age one to four. Wow! Except this period covered over twenty years. Day-to-day, I don’t quite feel like an adult, but I got there somehow. Don’t get me wrong, I have a long way to go, but I’m further up the mountain than I thought.