That Dastardly Pirate in my Head

Days Without Pirate Attack:

Days Without Pirate Attack:

One excellent source of ideas and inspiration for my practice is Cheri Huber. In a recent blog post, she wrote something that opened another door for me.

“As long as we’re in relationship with the voices, nothing we do “counts.” No matter what we do, the behaviors are compared to an imaginary “way I really am” and are used as proof that I am what self-hate says I am.
I work hard, I’m kind to those around me, I even volunteer to assist those less fortunate, but the voices quickly point out that I’m pretending to be a good person. I’m faking kindness and concern, while deep down I’m selfish and judgmental—not to mention lazy, incompetent, greedy, and hateful.
How does self-hate come up with all that? It’s projecting. It says I am what it is.
And just in case that doesn’t do the trick, self-hate says that the fact that I “have” self-hate is proof there’s something wrong with me!”

After I read that, I realized one belief holding me back from letting go of the critical voices is my attachment to the “positive” voice: the one that says, “You’re the smartest one here!” “You see what the others don’t!” . . . and more. BUT, they are like the god Janus; they are two sides to the same coin, and neither is real.

Honestly, this is frightening. The positive voice has been what I relied upon my whole life to overcome the feelings from the negative voice of unworthiness and shame. As I breathe into the idea of letting them both go, I appreciate all they have done for me over the years, but it’s time they retired. Maybe to a nice little place where they can sit side-by-side on the Gulf coast.

Read the entire post and archive here: http://blog.thezencenter.org/from-the-guide

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s