Wednesday morning on my walk I noticed the lovely sunrise immediately. I chased it block-to-block for wherever I could see it more clearly. Seeing the rare roses, pinks, and golds of the palette were as sweet as candy!
This winter has been warmer, but monochromatic. Heather gray is the predominant color. Looking out the window this afternoon, I see a sweatsuit gray sky, greiged, crusty snow, and dark puddles. The parking lot lights have come on (it’s noon) already. We’ve had so many gray days, I make sure I’m getting a Vitamin D daily. (I’m in no danger of getting rickets.)
The glorious sunrise is the obvious choice for beauty, but there is a difference finding beauty in the gray today. The light is softer, more like variations on a theme. The farm field beyond the parking lot is slightly foggy and silvered. The bare brown trees near the building take on sepia contrast tones. The wet road is shinier. The rain leaves trails on the windows. The feeling turns one quiet, muted, pushing me to be home, with a small fire burning, a book to read, and a hand-made blanket covering my legs.
Dug-for beauty isn’t really about looking really hard, working for it or earning it. It’s really reflective of your experience when you notice how much better looking a person gets as you learn more about him or her, how kind they are, and how much they like you.
Nearing the end of remodeling my house, I just finished the second-to-last closet (bathroom linen closet). It’s seriously gorgeous and organized now. It took me just under a week to complete:
- Remove everything
- Toss out old, wooden shelves
- Patch holes
- Move items from under sinks
- Clean under sinks after I moved that stuff
- Buy new wire shelving
- Cut six separate shelves by hand with a hack saw
- Clean out old baskets
- Buy two new baskets
- Put all the stuff into organized baskets and into the closet
- Throw away what I don’t need or use any more
Cutting the shelves with a hack saw was not nearly as hard as deciding what to throw away and then doing it. Admittedly, I have very little stuff confronting me on this, but comparing is of no value. Hard to do is hard to do. (Thank you, Ash Beckham!)
Some of the beliefs that are coming up include: I want the stuff to be used, to go to a “good home.” It’s perfectly good stuff. What if I need it some time? Maybe I can use it for something else. Maybe a shelter can use it. I don’t want it to be a waste of money. I don’t want to be the kind of person who buys stuff that gets thrown away. But I also don’t want to be the kind of person who has a lot of stuff. I don’t want the garbage man to see how much good stuff I throw away.
and then the kicker. . . I believe the stuff will make me cool/special/beautiful. . . loved. Didn’t know hair gel was that powerful, did you? I’m tempted to blame it on marketing, but marketing wouldn’t work if I already believed I was beautiful, if cool didn’t exist, and everyone/no one is special.