On my walk this morning I was listening to the audio book, The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer. It’s a pretty good book overall. It doesn’t contain new concepts (to me, at least), but it does have a perspective that’s different enough to give me pause sometimes. The narrator (it’s not read by the author) described how one must make the commitment to be happy and not to let anything that happens — because stuff will happen — dissuade you from that commitment.
Zap! I realized I was making some other people in charge of my happiness. My mind is so sneaky!!!
Boop, Boop, Boop. Backing the truck up. . . I’ve been attending OA meetings for the last few weeks. I kept looking for “glowing” people: Someone who had mastered abstinence, seemed calm and serene, and seemed — happy. But I didn’t see any one like that. The meetings here are lightly attended, too. I had even ultimatumed myself, that if there were only a couple people in the Sunday meeting, I was going to stop going. So that meeting had over twenty people (rats!) and some interesting sharing. However, I still didn’t see anyone who looked happy [to me]. This made me angry and kind of pleased, too. Again, my mind is very sneaky.
Now this morning, I realized I had put them in charge of my happiness. I wasn’t going to be happy because they weren’t acting like I wanted them to act. Just like there is no “because” in love, there is no “because” in happy. This is probably a case of not seeing because I wasn’t being.
In that great way of the universe, when I decide to be happy no matter what, interesting things validate it, not cause it. Janet Jackson’s “Nasty” song just came up on the song shuffle. I read there will be a blue moon on Friday. I am going to have coffee and a hug with a friend on Sunday morning. Contented sigh.