The last few weeks have been an amazing self-awareness learning experience while slogging through painful, emotional bursts. Even while reacting, I am aware that I am likely over-reacting to many situations.
I’ve uncovered beliefs that are working against each other, “You can’t tell me what to do!” butting up against, “Universe, tell me what to do!” I’ve sat in and floated around in every icky feeling that’s come up.
“What I already know is not what I want to learn.” – Peter Ralston, The Book of Not Knowing
I am willing to explore my visceral reaction to being told what to do at work. I find:
Being right – feels like safety.
If you make me wrong, you threaten my survival (perceived).
Telling me I’m wrong is what comes right before being hit.
Telling me I’m wrong is telling me that I AM WRONG. Not that I did something in a different way.
This is why my reaction to correction is so strong.
This is why I pre-emptively respond to be right.
This is why I make that person WRONG. They’re doing it WRONG. And for my (perceived) survival, they have to be wrong.
It.s a terribly vicious circle.