My retorts are entertaining and intelligent but, when I target myself; I am being mean to myself. I am usually harsher in these self-deprecating remarks than I would ever be to another person.
This is what I thought “I am — ” It’s what I thought my value was. Yes, I created this identity, but I am also the one who must sustain it. Is this who I want to be? Just last Friday, I was talking to a friend about cognitive dissonance. I wondered what I wasn’t seeing in myself.
A quick wit and a willingness to speak out will always win the attention race: Look at me! Look at me! If you notice me, you must love me, right? If you laugh, you are on my side, right? I looked up the term “smart alec[k].” The Oxford English Dictionary and Wikipedia trace the origin to a con-man and thief. Sigh.
I am thinking now about those who always have a kind word to say. They are not first or clever with a comment, but I remember them with more appreciation. They last.