in spite of my thoughts

I experienced a minor epiphany this week:  my thoughts may never change.  I  must learn to act in spite of my thoughts.

I imagine no one else has the mean, nasty, misanthropic thoughts I have.  This is probably not true, but it doesn’t stop me from working to eliminate the thoughts.  I have a lot of tools I use to stop malicious thoughts and shift.

tinman

a neighbor’s bird feeders –  including The Tin Man

However, some thoughts come so quickly I can’t stop them.  I notice what I just thought and begin judging myself.  Basically, I think, “That woman is an idiot.” “Oh, crap, why can’t I just be nice?”

I realized that my self-judgment implies that the first thought/judgment is true.  Huh.

So, that reflex thought may never stop.  Or it may someday.  I don’t know that, but I do know I can act from love even if I can’t always think from love.

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