in spite of my thoughts
I experienced a minor epiphany this week: my thoughts may never change. I must learn to act in spite of my thoughts.
I imagine no one else has the mean, nasty, misanthropic thoughts I have. This is probably not true, but it doesn’t stop me from working to eliminate the thoughts. I have a lot of tools I use to stop malicious thoughts and shift.
However, some thoughts come so quickly I can’t stop them. I notice what I just thought and begin judging myself. Basically, I think, “That woman is an idiot.” “Oh, crap, why can’t I just be nice?”
I realized that my self-judgment implies that the first thought/judgment is true. Huh.
So, that reflex thought may never stop. Or it may someday. I don’t know that, but I do know I can act from love even if I can’t always think from love.